loving not drinking and expressing the enjoyment

Was interesting to meet with Tauranga friends at the Botianical gardens.  I was asked how I was about drinking right now in a very non judgmental way.  I said how I'd been enjoying not drinking while not having principles necessary against it which felt great.  I also spoke to my housemate and expressed my feelings of not drinking alcohol at the moment.  Will keep carrying on.  I feel really good and like I am becoming more spiritual somehow with everything going on just now.  Like I'm heading into a new realm of being.  It is my non drinking partly and mixed with all the other things in my blogs right now :)

friday vegan drinks and enjoying not drinking

Went out last night for some vegan food and although I was tempted to have an alcoholic drink I felt really good that I didn't and am glad I didn't.  It was nice to explain to Carly why I just preferred not drinking just now and to Tai Chi then meet Gail without much effort.  Maybe I should go for a run actually just to affirm all that more.

I had that sense of my whole spiritual development journey and felt that maybe I am weeding out alcohol.  Like a lot of it is habit in terms of the attitude it created etc and a good sense of moving away from that which is good.  Felt good speaking to people today and will enjoy tonight also.

still no alcohol and all good

So 23 August was my last drink I just realise and not missing it at all but have enjoyed the crowding out and feeling fresher in a lot of ways and like it's been a really good thing.  It's funny though how it is clearly something I've enjoyed a lot in the past rather than eating meat which I never was bothered about.  Urghhh so disgusting to think about that.

Enjoyed just relaxing last night with a tea and a bit of playing video games was actually kind of cool as a bit of a hobby.  Okay it's not so productive but was nice and a bit fun and I deserve that sometimes.

Today I'll enjoy my massage and hopefully meet my mate in Takapuna and can enjoy a good full day again.

getting clearer. worried how to deal with some others

Am feeling lots better and really feeling how I'm better off without drinking.  It is like I'm crowding it out really well.  I feel really calm and settled and even liking the whole idea of it and it going alongside being Vegan too.  I felt a bit weird tonight talking to a friend and realising I wouldn't feel comfortable presenting it that I'm not drinking if he comes over.  Finding way around it for now seems alright and like it will work for me.

I love how I get those jolts in my body, really as if I am growing.  The no alcohol does feel really good.  Those regrets and cringly behaviour of the past but now feeling that real soulful channelling of energy, like I can really make the world better.  It was nice to hear about my friends good fortune and know that I didn't feel jealous.  That's a great thing.

I really feel that good sense of cultivating in a major way again, like when I became Vegan almost.  I feel by keeping with all these projects I will keep growing well.  I will keep in contact with me and all the ups and downs I'll go through with it.  The writing just helps me to stay balanced.  I feel on track enough for now.

farewell dinner out and no alcohol, an interesting one. 28.8.13

Had my last dinner out with the family.  Was really great.  I drove there which my family were grateful for.  I think I was the only one who didn't have a few alcoholic drinks.  I didn't have any.  It was strange as it was certainly one of those situations I would've drank in the past.  I was tempted and didn't want to stop myself if I really wanted one but went ahead not drinking and felt good.  Watching some football when we got back and chatting to people I felt really cool like I was managing me and enjoying my last bit of time here feeling good and conscious and in control.

When I went to bed I had a great sleep and felt an absolutely wonderful sense of peace and love almost. It was such a great feeling.  Maybe alcohol is that other thing coming out of me now through my personal development stuff.  I felt like maybe I was crowding it out with other stuff.  alcohol does obviously cloud us in some ways, I knew that but now I'm enjoying just being more conscious.

I guess very differently to eating meat which I can say never brought particular joy I can honestly say that drnking alcohol has brought lots and lots haha.  It really has though. So many silly fun memories.  It's only now maybe whereas I'm getting that connection whereas I just don't need it anymore and in fact am starting to feel better without it.

I will just keep monitoring it and keep growing through.

Saying by to 2 friends and no alcohol

Said bye to 2 people today. The first we could've gone to a pub and I chose the cafe above that as the option.  I felt comfortable doing that and had a juice and felt totally cool.  Interestingly we spoke of old drunk times such as my 28th and I did feel a bit cringy almost. Similarly he'd mentioned my past antics last time we met in a totally light hearted way but it felt like stuff I want to change. Obviously that was big scale drinking but nonetheless I'm feeling better without it.

I feel like drinking does cause a general regressiveness which I'm enjoying not being part of.  It all feels better and clearer emotionally.

In the evening my other friend had a red wine. I had a juice and again it felt good. I said openly how I would drink if I wanted but just wanted it to be a conscious decision but I was certainly not going to inprison myself.

On the way back I thought about it more and my Veganism. In my veganism I am strict and would never eat non vegan food. I thought about an annoyance with a friend who has on 3 occasions asked if I'd ever eat fish which I will set him straight with iif he does it again as I find it highly offensive. On the other hand with drinking under a very certain circumstance I may be tempted and not feel bad about it at all and that's what this blog is. It's just an experience of being me with it. Nothing concrete or trying to trap me. I just keep exploring but right now it's working well.

I last drank at my friends in Newcastle last friday when I had one beer and started a second and actually regretted it. :)

26 August. soft drink with friend then same after football

Met a friend today at the pub and got a soft drink before going to the beer garden which seemed helpful.  I was going to say that I was going for a run later if asked about it.  I felt really good to have a soft drink then have a great run later.

In the evening I went to the football then had that feeling (I think operating in the Yin from the football feeling, that more regressive) to have a beer but I had some good soft drinks and other good food on my return which ultimately felt a better replacement to bring me back well.  It all worked out great.  My life is getting clearer in all respects.

I feel some sense of pride in maybe being a tea total vegan.  It doesn't matter if I start drinking alcohol again, it's just about being conscious.