Said bye to 2 people today. The first we could've gone to a pub and I chose the cafe above that as the option. I felt comfortable doing that and had a juice and felt totally cool. Interestingly we spoke of old drunk times such as my 28th and I did feel a bit cringy almost. Similarly he'd mentioned my past antics last time we met in a totally light hearted way but it felt like stuff I want to change. Obviously that was big scale drinking but nonetheless I'm feeling better without it.
I feel like drinking does cause a general regressiveness which I'm enjoying not being part of. It all feels better and clearer emotionally.
In the evening my other friend had a red wine. I had a juice and again it felt good. I said openly how I would drink if I wanted but just wanted it to be a conscious decision but I was certainly not going to inprison myself.
On the way back I thought about it more and my Veganism. In my veganism I am strict and would never eat non vegan food. I thought about an annoyance with a friend who has on 3 occasions asked if I'd ever eat fish which I will set him straight with iif he does it again as I find it highly offensive. On the other hand with drinking under a very certain circumstance I may be tempted and not feel bad about it at all and that's what this blog is. It's just an experience of being me with it. Nothing concrete or trying to trap me. I just keep exploring but right now it's working well.
I last drank at my friends in Newcastle last friday when I had one beer and started a second and actually regretted it. :)
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